I don’t know how to explain it…

But I realized that there is a part of me that’s still holding on. That won’t let the idea of us go. And that’s not fair to him, or to myself. 

I’m not looking for another relationship, but I’m also not letting the last one go and it was over a year ago. Seeing him made me realize that it will always be hard, but I was trying to convince myself that I didn’t still love him, but I do. 

I don’t want to, but I can’t help it. I want to feel needed, I want to take care of him, but I also want him to take care of me. 

I realized that he doesn’t even know what I need, he doesn’t even know what it would take to get me back. And that’s ok. I need to let it go. Let go of the idea of us getting married, let go of the idea of spending my life with him, just let it go. 

Enjoy being happy, enjoy being single, forgetting the things behind.