Being Happy

These last few weeks I’ve felt very good about my life. I’m comfortable in my own skin, and I’m happy being single. 

I’ve really done a cleaning out of my personal life, really learning who my real friends are, learning who I value most, and who is important to me. 

A few days ago I planned my birthday party, and for the first time in many years it isn’t at a bar where I just invite everyone I am acquaintances with on facebook to join me. Instead I planned a small dinner at one of my favorite restaurants, and invited a very short list of friends. 

I kept looking at the list thinking, I should invite more people. But every time I thought of someone else I could invite, I realized that I didn’t really want them there. I just wanted to enjoy a dinner with the people I care about. 

On that short list is the guy I’ve been seeing. I realized that we’ve been sleeping together since August, and we’ve become good friends. Regardless of whether of not we are in an exclusive relationship, it’s still a relationship. Even a friendship is a relationship, but we obviously have more than that. 

So for the first time I was able to open up to him, and really just let myself enjoy being with him and not worry about keeping my emotional distance so that I don’t get hurt. 

Last night we were supposed to hang out. I told him I would be done at the gym around 8. So he said he’ll feed me when I’m done. I got to his apartment around 8:45 and he was cooking for me. He’s done this before, but this time it seemed like he had put much more thought into the meal. 

We ate dinner and talked, we didn’t have the TV on or anything while we ate. It was nice. When we were done eating we starting kissing, but I just ended up straddling him on the couch, and we had a pretty long conversation. We talked about a lot of things, but I think what I enjoyed most was just being able to talk and open up. It made me feel really happy and much more secure about his feelings for me. 

Then we cuddled and watched a movie, after the movie we started kissing but he really took his time with the foreplay. Something was just different this time. I was much more relaxed and as a result I was much more turned on. 

I could go into much more detail but I’m not sure how much detail you signed on for when you started reading this blog…

The sex was really good. I’m very happy about where the two of us are right now.