Anonymous asked: are you the one whose write-ups are appearing in the Times of India?

No

Feeling frisky

I am in need of a serious release. Sitting at my desk at work is not helping this frustrating feeling of needing something inside me. 

I can’t even write about this right now…

but I’m so upset that I honestly have knots in my stomach! Let’s just say that some guys are good guys, and some guys are just liars. 

I think I’m in trouble

So I mentioned that I started dating Clark, and since we decided to slow things down we’ve been good, but not nearly as hot and heavy as we were out of the gate. We are still just casually dating, nothing serious, nothing exclusive. 

So when a guy who I’ve known for a few years (we’ll call him Christian) asked if I wanted to get a drink, I had no problem saying yes. While we’ve been friends for a while, I would say that we were never really close. There had been a few times where I thought he may have been flirting with me, and certainly in the days leading up to us getting drinks his texts were more flirtatious. We were supposed to get together on wed. but he ended up texting me the saturday before to see if I wanted to hang out that night. 

I met him in his neighborhood in Brooklyn at his favorite little bar. We sat in the back booth, drank beers and talked for hours. He was hard to read, sometimes he was flirtatious, but it didn’t feel like a date. More like he genuinely wanted us to be better friends. Once I wrapped my head around that, I relaxed and switched out of date mode, into friend mode.

He was very easy to talk to, and after a few beers our conversation turned to sex. I don’t really remember how we got there, but we were both very comfortable talking about it. I had no problem being open about all my kinks and he was very open with me as well. He made passing mention to the fact that we’d probably be good sexual partners, but regardless of wether of not that ever happened between us, he wanted us to be close friends, the kind of friend he still talked to in 5 years. I was happy with that. 

We kept talking, emailing and texting the next few days. Occasionally he would say something that may be considered forward or flirtatious, but he would always apologize for it immediately. I kept telling him that no apologies were necessary, but he kept doing it anyway. 

We kept our original plans for wed, and hung out in his studio. Once again our conversation turned to sex eventually, but we were able to easily talk about the three things that most people avoid talking about with friends. Sex, politics, and religion. 

A few days later I mentioned to him in an email that I had started reading this erotica novel that I was really enjoying. He asked why it was so good, and after I told him a little about it, he decided to start reading it too. 

Needless to say, we were both reading the same erotic novel at the same time, and it was giving both of us all kinds of ideas. At first we would email about the book, and then things we enjoy sexually. But last night the conversation eventually turned to how turned on we currently were and what we’d like to do to each other. 

We emailed back and forth for a few hours last night and it was honestly amazing. I was so turned on that my eventual orgasm at the end of the night was better than any sex I’ve had in a long time. He agreed. 

So here is my dilemma, I’ve found someone I can really be my kinky sexual self with. I don’t know if he really wants to do those things in real life but regardless I know this isn’t turning into a relationship. 

And then there is Clark, who I do have feelings for, but it’s hard to think about him when I’ve been having this ongoing mental affair (if you will) with Christian. 

What would you do?

My ex-boyfriend (long long time ago) recently messaged me on OkCupid saying that we should catch up an be friends. Now he is engaged to someone else, and apparently is maintaining an active OkCupid profile where he lists himself as single? 

What? How do I even respond to that? 

*UPDATE*

When I asked why he was messaging me on OkCupid he said that he was showing someone the site on the plane and I came up as his first match. He says he and his fiancée are fine. 

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You’re right, there will be a degree of anonymity that will be lost by the use of my voice. But I don’t have a problem with the people that know me, knowing about these things. I mainly keep this blog anonymous because some of the men I’ve dated might not appreciate me being so open. 

Question of the day

A friend of mine is trying to convince me to do a podcast on the topic of sex, relationships, and possibly women’s issues. This would be like a radio show broadcast over the internet. Just like this blog it would be more anonymous, but I am entertaining the idea.  

Is this something you guys might be interested in?

Taking it slow…

That was certainly not how this started. I met a new guy, let’s call him Clark. I already told you how we met, so to update you, it’s been two weeks and we’ve been on 5 dates. We went out on valentines day, I’ve met some of his friends, he’ met some of mine. We slept together…on date 2 (not sure how I feel about that). Needless to say I really like him. 

But the other day, after I left from a day of hanging out with him, he texted me and said “we should take it a bit slower”. 

I didn’t know what to think. At first I was upset, I don’t know why. I met a guy that I really liked and things were going well, I didn’t want to stop. I wanted to see him all the time (I have a tendency to dive in head first, without checking how deep the water is). And now he was telling me he wanted to slow down. 

I told him, that’s fine, we can put it on ice. But he told me it wasn’t that, we should just dial is back a bit and get to know each other better. I agreed. 

But now I really don’t know what to do, how to act. I keep thinking about him. But I don’t know if I should just text him like we used to. I’m second guessing everything, like it’s my fault he wants to slow down. It’s been a long time since I’ve felt like this. 

Anonymous asked: is it sex begets love or love begets sex?

I think it can be both. I depends on the situation. 

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(Source: dailydoseofstuf, via weallcanfly)